Prologue
Can a blog post have a prologue? Well, this one does.
This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while now. It’s been an empty draft since October. October 6th to be exact. Let’s hear it for procrastination and self-doubt.
I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because they’re a waste of time. Those things last a week, maybe an entire month tops. Then it’s back to the same old, same old the rest of the year. Even so, it’s time I turned a corner. I recently turned 48 and as I hurdle towards 50 and AARP mailings, I’ve nothing to lose. Time to write. Every day. Even if it’s terrible. I love to write but I’m under no illusion that I’m all that great at it. I’m not sure I even care. I’ve nearly given up on Facebook, so it’s not like I’ll be “marketing my brand” or some shit. Artists of the past didn’t have the internet or social media. They wrote. Painted. Took photographs. Created. So, I’m simply going to write for the sake of writing.
Veganism
I’ve been vegan for nearly a decade now. I can’t imagine living any other way. I am living my truth. And what is that truth? My truth is that I view animals as conscious beings who have the right to live without the disregard, suffering and death at the hands of humans. They are not food. They are not sources of entertainment. They are not a nuisance to eradicate to make room for more strip malls and McMansions. I could go on, but you get the idea.
Throughout these past years, there’s been a part of me that has thought that I don’t really know all that much about veganism beyond the basics. That pesky self-doubt again. It wasn’t until a conversation over the summer that I realized how wrong I was to think such a thing. I DO know quite a lot. I have my own opinions and unique point of view. I have things to say. The hard part is finding my voice. Even harder is finding some semblance of self-confidence. No easy task for an awkward introvert with low self-esteem, let me tell you.
Despite it all, I’ve managed to influence two friends to move towards or to become vegan. Who knows, perhaps I’ve influenced others via the dreaded blue monster of Facebook or the stickers on the back of my car. I’m fairly certain I’ve spread awareness here and there in other small ways. Sometimes by just doing my thing. At least, I hope so. It’s what I tell myself.
Activism
2018 has been the year I’ve tried a little of the activism thing. The getting out the message in public thing. I’ve attended a Cube of Truth or two. Inspiring. Eye-opening. Frustrating. For the shy, terrifying. While I’d recommend anyone passionate about veganism and animal rights attend at least one, it’s not for everyone. It didn’t turn out to be for me. I make a living behind a computer screen for a reason. I suck at talking to strangers. Hell, sometimes I suck at talking to people I know. Not a good fit. Inspiring, but not for me.
I participated in the first Official Animal Rights March in Ohio, Columbus to be exact. Much more my speed. Disappearing among the crowd yet making my belief in animal rights known. Every bit as inspiring as a Cube but without confrontation. I can’t wait to participate in another march in the upcoming year(s)!
Another way I’ve been active has been volunteering for a local wild animal rescue – Wild Again Animal Rescue. Another thing I’m not cut out for? Cleaning animal stalls. I am a city girl through and through. Instead, I’ve kept it to helping out by creating their email newsletters. I’m good at that. And I don’t have to embarrass myself trying to shovel poop. I’m a wuss. Seriously. Still, the little I do feels good. All for the animals after all.
Perfectionism
Ah, perfectionism in the vegan/animal rights community. Injecting its stink everywhere eventually. It’s what has put me off various pages, groups, websites and the like. It’s partly responsible for my Facebook hiatus. The excitement around a new vegan product on the market is dashed almost instantly by the “yeah but” people. I get it. Those products are often heavily processed and not especially good for you. I’m vegan for the animals, so let me enjoy my vegan junk food damnit. You do you. I’ll be over here eating the junk you probably still eat in private.
There’s the dreaded “vegan police.” Ready to swoop in pointing a finger at you at a moment’s notice. Admonishing you for some perceived slight. The whole, “you’re not really vegan unless you’re vegan like me” schtick. “How dare you have an opinion different from mine!” What dark, miserable abyss do these people come from, anyway? Go away. No one likes you. You’re not helping.
Not far behind the vegan police squad is the wonderful (and by wonderful I mean not so much) animal rights community. Don’t get me wrong, loads and loads of good people, but there’s always those few who have to ruin it for everyone else. Infighting. Outfighting among different groups. The “if you don’t go to vigils, or do this or that, you’re not doing enough for the animals” crowd. I see the transport trucks of death every day on my commute to and from work. I’m good, thanks. It doesn’t make me any less passionate about the cause because I prefer to walk the path where I will be most effective. If it really is all about the animals, then stop being a dick. We all have a role to play. Our own methods. Taken together, they all have the potential to reach the most people.
All of this wrapped together would make for a sociologist’s wet dream, I’m sure. So, if any of you out there are sociologists in need of a study… here ya go!
Epilogue
If you can’t tell already, I can be a bit grumpy. I do have moments of sunshine, I promise. Well, sort of. As close as I am ever going to get anyway (consider it a fair warning). Ultimately, these are all things I’ve been thinking about or struggling with during the past year of my vegan journey. Hopefully, I’m not the only one who experiences such frustration, burnout and a general malaise from time to time. As I try to find that voice I know I have somewhere, I do know I want to keep that voice honest. I’ll leave the perfectionism to everyone else. Can a blog post have a prologue? Well, this one does.
This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while now. It’s been an empty draft since October. October 6th to be exact. Let’s hear it for procrastination and self-doubt.
I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions because they’re a waste of time. Those things last a week, maybe an entire month tops. Then it’s back to the same old, same old the rest of the year. Even so, it’s time I turned a corner. I recently turned 48 and as I hurdle towards 50 and AARP mailings, I’ve nothing to loose. Time to write. Every day. Even if it’s terrible. I love to write but I’m under no illusion that I’m all that great at it. I’m not sure I even care. I’ve nearly given up on Facebook, so it’s not like I’ll be “marketing my brand” or some shit. Artists of the past didn’t have the internet or social media. They wrote. Painted. Took photographs. Created. So, I’m simply going to write for the sake of writing.